Thursday, January 27, 2011

Cute Stuff Part 2

I have some of the loveliest coworkers.

As I have mentioned before, my officemate and I are both preggo. Our fellow coworker brought us these the other day, with a little poem that she wrote!

What a blessing it is to receive such joy,
in the form of a girl or in the form of a boy.
Purple's a symbol for a sweet little girl
with a little ponytail and cute little curl.
Blue's a symbol for a handsome boy
with a cute little hat and train for a toy.
So take these flowers and cherish them too
as we await for "purple" or "blue."

18 weeks along

...and sometimes people are just the sweetest things.

p.s. Baby Gage is ROCKING and ROLLING in there now. He or she either really likes or really dislikes Mexican food. Let's be honest, it is my child, so they probably love it just like mama.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Knocked Up Bridesmaids

Now that I am starting to feel great about my look and body while pregnant (a happy development for sure) I am also starting to enjoy maternity fashions.

Now, maternity clothes have come a loooooong way. But, what i have experienced so far int he US has nothing on European fashions. Cute, affordable, and bump embracing. Done, done and done.

Some of my most lip chewing worry about maternity fashion has come from the fact that I am going to be a bridesmaid for a dear friend while exactly 7 mos pregnant. When a few minutes after I saw those two pink lines I put the facts together that I would be so far along, admittedly I freaked for a second.

Putting aside that I will need concrete makeup to hopefully not look like an overheating whale in Texas on the spring/summer borderline, I was mostly concerned about the dress. Now, this gracious and fashion savvy bride who I-love-so-much-for-this already decided that we would wear black, and we could all pick out our own dresses. YAY!

So, off I set on the journey to find a bridesmaid worthy LBD for preggos. Let me tell you that there are a LOT of casual options out there, but casual will not do for a wedding.

I started at, where I actually found quite a few cute things.

All cute, all around $80 on sale ($150ish originally) and every single one had mixed reviews on the fit. Too big in the bust not big enough in the belly, unless altered perfectly a week before your event will make you look like a whale, etc. Plus, all the fabrics seemed sort of chintz-y to me for the prices.

Online shopping is already a nail biting experience for me, because I like to try things on - how does it fit? how does it flow? is the fabric as cheap looking as it seems in the photo? etc. Couple that with the whole I-have-no-idea-how-big-I-will-be-in-the-next-few-days-let-alone-in-April thing, and you could call it a mini meltdown.

But then, then I found the company that has solved all of my problems in the UK based Asos.

The beauty of this website is not only the photos and the pure chic of the clothes, but that you can view every.single.item "On the Runway" so you get the flow and fit of the items much better than just from flat photos. Also, the prices are awesome + free shipping to the US. done and done.

I ended up finding this dress for the bridesmaid category:

 In gray you can see more detail, but I was of course looking for black...

Yay. Cute, black, not jersey material and $50 + free shipping. Done, done done. Best of all, I tried it on for the bride and she approved. Double yay!

While I was perusing the website I ended up finding another cute and affordable dress that I ended up ordering for the Rehearsal.

Let me just tell you that I l-o-v-e this dress and trying not to wear it pre-festivities is going to be even harder come warm weather.

Overall these are some of the cutest and most varied collections I have seen. There are definitely some other great sites out there, but the variety and cost of these items is a-mazing.

Mission be a cute knocked up bridesmaid accomplished.

The next task will be to be a cute 3 months postpartum bridesmaid for my lovely sister in-law. Wish me luck on that gamble :)

17 weeks, 6 days along

...and I cannot wait for the weather to get warmer so I can live in cute dresses and sandals again.

Monday, January 24, 2011

On emotions during pregnancy

I am a HAM emotionally lately.

(if you are not from the South... HAM = Hot A*@ Mess, which is a step up from just a hot mess, which is still not a great thing to be)

Most of my emotions are triggered alone, while I am being entertained by music or TV. See, here is the thing - I am not a crier (though famously after uttering those words in grad school I was the first to cry - the irony). Seriously though, I don't cry over things. I haven't noticed any other huge emotional swings lately, but the crying thing is out of control.

Exhibit A:
Location: In my car
Trigger: Song - "Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not?"

This is a happy song y'all. But, it talks about a first kiss, and that got me thinking about my first kiss with A ll those years ago, and how much I love him and appreciate our relationship, and it cued up the montage of my favorite moments, and how he is going to be a dad...and there I was. Bawling in my car.

Exhibit B:
Location: On my couch
Trigger: NCIS

Seriously, I am embarrassed by this one. It wasn't even a particularly emotional episode. But the ending, the ending was just so cheesy and happy and I lost it. I sat there cuddling my puppy and crying.

Exhibit C:
Location: In the car - this morning
Trigger: "This is Country Music"

(Yes, I listen to country music on the way to work in the morning - don't judge. They are the best morning show around <3 )

There is one line in this song, pretty insignificant overall, "It ain’t hip to sing about tractors, trucks, little towns, and mama..."

But, this morning - it hit me - I am going to be someone's mama. What the heck?! Someone's mom? And then all I could think about was that bond, and how much I love my mom, and on and on. And, I cried. A lot.

And then I bought myself a donut.

17 weeks, 4 days along

...and the Dunkin' Donut lady probably sees crying women pulling over for a chocolate frosted donut all the time, right?

Saturday, January 22, 2011

17 weeks

This week, we had a dining out for the hubby's ship, so I thought it would be fun to take this weekly shot in my formal attire. Thanks to my lady friends who convinced me to get something from the normal dress area in a stretchy fabric rather than going the maternity formal dress route - I may actually get to wear it again!

Same as last week.


Better and better...if this winter dryness would go away, mayhap I could aspire to dew-y and glow-y.

Same-o, Same-o. As I was sick this week, I spent a lot of time in pajamas, so I didn't really worry about clothes, etc. 

I have noticed a shortness of breath, which I thought was maybe being caused by all this extra weight my body isn't used to carrying around, but apparently it is because my diaphragm can't open all the way. Combo that with the already can't breathe sickness and coughing, and you have a recipe for feeling pretty darn awesome when climbing stairs. Ha.

Also, I think that my stomach is being affected by all the internal organ movement as well. I seem to be ravenous but then can't even eat as much as I did before being knocked up. Strangeness this pregnancy thing.

This week I really craved food from my childhood. Not really sure if it was the sickness and not being able to be comforted by medicine... so I was turning to food for comfort? Or, I may have been actually craving it. 

Weirdest thing so far: the sandwich I called "Hard Cheese, Lettuce and Mayonnaise" when I was a kid. (White bread, cheddar cheese sliced off the block, lettuce and mayo) I sort of made it up one time, and then loved it. The weird part is, I haven't had it in years, nor have I craved or even wanted white bread in years. Strange.

I had three HCLM sandwiches this week.

Still sort of random and there, both abdominally and all over, usually from trying to move too fast from a stagnant position while sleeping. A friend just loaned me her Snoogle today, so hopefully that will help!

Speaking of which:
Getting uncomfortable. Starting to be resentful that A and the dog take up room in the bed and sleep in more than 40 minute stretches without waking up. Jealous.

Mental State
This week, even though I have been sick and not able to take medicine because I am pregnant, I have also started to really enjoy being pregnant. I like the way I look in the mirror, I have more energy and am embracing how freaking amazing my body is to be able to grow another human in it. How cool.

Plus, can I just say how cool it is to hear from all sorts of people thanks to this little blog?! It is making me enjoy being pregnant even more. Seriously, y'all make my day with comments, fb messages, etc. I am trying to write everyone back and welcome and love all advice - I promise that I take everything with a grain of salt <3 

Seriously ridiculous when I try to sleep at night. Have started trying to create ramp like pillow device to keep myself propped up and stomach acid down where it should be.

Nasal Issues
Same, ready for spring time to come. I have been walking around a whole lot trying to keep things clear, which is harder when you have a job where you sit at a desk all day, but I am willing to jump on that hand grenade.

The Girls
Good, starting to wear sleeping bras or sports bras...whatever is try to keep things from going all "National Geographic" to quote my husband.


Fetal Movement
I am not quite sure, but I think I am feeling something. 

To be super honest - digestive issues have abounded nicely since this whole journey began, so it is a little hard to tell what is par for the course in this "rare and wonderful new world of indigestion" (10 points if you can name that movie!)

BUT, I felt something different the other day on my way home from work. Two little somethings. 
I was driving on the highway, so it probably wasn't the best time, but I tried poking and prodding to make it happen again, talking to the baby, the whole nine yards. 

Alas, I haven't felt exactly that same feeling we will see.

17 weeks, 2 days pregnant

...and I am having a pretty great time with this whole pregnancy thing.

Friday, January 21, 2011


There are so many things to research when preparing for a baby, especially for the first time.

****Long Post Alert****

Me? I like to check out safety ratings and reviews of things online while at work in my free time; after asking friends, family, (women in Target) how they like their stroller, baby sling, car seat, whatever I happen to be obsessing about at that moment. (Wait, we have to buy one of those too?!? )

Of course a lot of baby items can be totally unnecessary, but easy for first time moms to fall prey to - hence why I ask everyone under the sun about what I really need. Don't think you are going to fool me baby industry tycoons! I will triumph! Unless of course it is really cute and I want it, which in that case, whatever, your marketing worked.

Anyway, most people agree that a stroller is something that we will need, though I plan to do my fair share of babywearing as well (I know, Wikipedia is not a legit source, and there are tribal boobies on there, but whatevs).

A and I perused a few strollers and travel systems while walking by the miniscule baby section at the Navy Exchange one day, and found ourselves completely overwhelmed. We could not figure out how to detach the baby carrier part from the stroller part. It took 20 minutes of pushing different buttons, etc. for us to figure it out. Not to mention this was the day before pay day, and the stroller section is conveniently located next to the main thoroughfare. So, we were "those" new parents that people smiled at and some even shook their heads indulgently. Ugh. Abandon ship!

So, this weekend, we headed to Babies R Us (grammatically I cannot get behind this store, but it is the only store that we knew of off hand that we could try out these things in person).  We tried every.kind if travel system and stroller that they had in stock. Except one.

Ugh. We missed out on trying the Peg Perego Si in person! I looked at it and thought, hmm, there is no price tag and I don't feel like I have heard of this brand. Plus, it was sort of over by the side by itself, so I was sketched, even though it looked super cute.

Imagine my shock and dismay when Google revealed to me that this was a "cool" stroller! Ack! I am way behind on the cool mom stuff. The one in-store at our Babies R Us was a return, which is why it was randomly placed etc. I plan on heading over on my lunch break to try it out to see if I like it.

Reviews are mixed, mostly because of the straps, rather than the lock in place convenience of most travel systems. But, it seems to be a good long term stroller for older kids and has saved some moms from having to go the travel system and then umbrella stroller route. Bonus? it's Italian. Ciao.

The system we liked the best in store was the Chicco Cortina Travel System.

We liked the "Discovery" just fine, but we LOVED the "Limonata" pattern.

Sadly, that one does not come in a Travel System so we would be out extra money buying everything separately = lame. It is so bright and cheery and fun though. We may have to go for it if we decide on this one.

Things we loved about this system: clearly the reviews are great, the system is safe and most people love the convenience, ease of use, etc. It was a little bulkier, but both A and I felt like it was the most solid system that we played with. More on the Graco systems later, but A was really concerned with how securely everything stayed in place.

The biggest complaint on the review boards is that the stroller itself is bulky and large for those who travel often (which is a problem that the Peg Perego Si is not known for). To me it didn't seem any larger than anything else we were trying. Clearly the super expensive UppaBaby Vistas and things of that nature fold down smaller, but to me this thing seemed solid and safe.

The other complaint to ponder is that the car seat doesn't sit on the seat part of some grocery carts, etc. Attention moms: how long before babies justs it in the carts? Doable to think I can sling Baby G until then while shopping? (Apparently it does fit on a Target cart, and that's where I spend most time anyway...) Or, am I totally naive? Clearly I may be opening Pandora's Box here, but COMMENT AWAY. I need halp pleaze.

Bonus factor: When we were playing with this thing Buble's version of "Save the Last Dance For Me" came on the store radio and we were able to dance about with the stroller. It moved smoothly and made tight turns, etc.

A close second in store for me was the Graco Alano FlipIt Travel System (in Wilko).

This was the print we saw in the store and loved, so cute and fresh for both genders. Yellow and gray, swoon. We played with this one first. And, it was nice. Now, people REALLY love Graco and all, which is totally cool, so that's why I went for it first. I LOVED the flipping handle feature so that you can face baby. Awesome. Also the system locked into place really easily, it folded down smaller than the Chicco (not by much) 

All in all, we liked this guy. But, A was really concerned that the bottom of the infant seat doesn't lock into the stroller (like where the baby's feet would be). I tried to convince him that no one is going to be trying to flip baby out of the stroller like that, but he was sort of adamant about it (all of the Gracos are like that). So there's that. Any Graco loving moms or dads who can chime in here and tell us if this is actually a big deal would be helpful.

Also, reviews seem to think that the system is harder to steer when you do use the system "flipped" because only one set of wheels actually pivots (the front ones) and then they are in the back. Lame. 

It's light and sporty and folds down with one hand. The handle motion is slightly awkward as you need to pull and twist the handle at the same time, but totally doable.

Everybody has pros and cons of course, so we will see where we end up. Of course there is the whole debate for not doing Travel Systems at all, but we will get there later.

Preliminary research, done. I need a drink.

17 weeks, 1 day along

...and last night I slept with my humidifier on, Breathe Right strips and Vick's and I could sort of breathe! Triumph! Too bad I can't walk around all day like that.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Cute Stuff, Part 1

I need one or more of these guys for the nursery.

So cute! That is all.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

16 weeks

I wrote this on Sunday, but then the heinous cold/sickness began, sooooo forgive me for just getting it up now. Good news for all you readers: 17 weeks is tomorrow, so new update to come soon!

Still gone, but I do still have a few moments that make my stomach churn...few and far between though and usually triggered by the sight of something gross, like most of the stuff A watches on Tosh.0.



Well, at my midwife appointment on Friday I officially hit a limit that I knew I was going to hit, and was sad I was going to hit, but I did. I still weigh less than my husband though, so that's cool. Also, the nurse told me I looked great and was totally normal even though I felt huge, and my blood pressure is low and awesome. Woot!

The shirt in this picture is actually a regular shirt from my collection...just stretched over the bump. Hopefully I can rustle up a photo for comparison...Anywho it is super nice that I am not hiding things anymore so some of my favorite pieces with some stretch can make it back into rotation.

Also, super secret awesome news - we went to the gym this week! Yay! I went walking like an old lady on the treadmill for 40 minutes while A killed himself per usual doing all sorts of things I could never do. In good news about my body image, I had to cobble together a workout outfit - Yoga pants I could roll down, new super large bra, two tank tops (maternity ones are so thin!), and a zipper hoodie hanging open - anywho, when I went over to the mirrored area to retrieve my husband and convince him to head to the fried chicken strip place already, I saw my reflection. 

And, I felt good about it. It was obvious that I was pregnant and not just fat, AND my legs and butt still looked good. Yay for feeling awesome and confident...and then eating fried chicken.

Nothing really yet, I still love Mexican food, but as A consistently reminds me - this is nothing new.

Mild lower abdominal pain once in a while, midwife said not to worry about it - probably just everything stretching and making room.

Mental State:
Pregnancy brain? check. 

Worrying that I won't get everything done before baby gets here? (but still managing to ignore most things?) check. 

Being a crazy organizer and doing things I probably shouldn't? (like rearranging my entire bedroom by myself because we needed a better arrangement for a Pack and Play {in 7 months}?) check.

Being slightly anxious about the no baby movement thing yet? check. 

Oy. CHILLAX Court. Seriously, I don't want you guys to think that I spend my time constantly freaking out, because I don't, but these things are all on my mind. On the positive side, I also find myself daydreaming about my nursery and nuzzling my baby and inhaling all those baby goodness smells.

Still here and kicking.

Nasal Issues
Stuffy, slight bloody noses, etc. Winter is awesome!

The Girls
Anyone who has been reading my blog knows how that is going.

Midwife Appointment Updates
Here is the big stuff.
  1. The midwife was awesome. It was my first appointment with a midwife rather than a doctor and I loved her. Our practice has 4 docs and 4 midwives and are in one word - awesome.
  2. Apparently I am on the wrong track for giving birth in the birthing center. Oy. There are two tracks at our practice, the hospital track and midwifery track. The hospital track is all well and good, and unless you are high risk, the midwives still totally take care of labor, etc. The birthing center track means you do it all through the midwifery and give birth in the birthing center. 
  3. I want to give birth in the birthing center because it has awesome private rooms and queen size beds and Jacuzzis. Rock on. Plus I have heard awesome things about it, etc. When I mentioned this to the midwife, she was surprised - I was not on the midwifery track.
  4. Lame.
  5. But, she got me on the track! They are actually booked for all of June, booo. But, she is making a case for me since I will probably give birth in July anyway.
  6. As soon as I started mentioning this, the midwife launched into how supportive they are about medication free birth. Ack! I am leaning that way of course, but with the limited space etc. I feel sort of like I just locked myself into an all natural birth without really talking it through, plus A wasn't at this appointment, so yeah. Alarming, big decisions, ack, I am a freak out queen.
  7. After reflecting, I feel totes better about all of this, and feel empowered that I have gone ahead and made the decision. 
  8. I have tons of things to do before labor, including a tour, a 6 week birthing class and a third trimester class. She explained that the classes are all great and are basically training for your marathon of birth, which made me feel amped and even more empowered.
  9. The we talked about fetal movement, I got to hear a heartbeat again, yay precious little reassuring sound, and she reassured me about feeling baby move. The midwife is due in March with her second baby and though she felt her first one move at 16 weeks, she didn't feel this one until 20. I felt better, thank you midwife.
  10. The next appointment is my 20 week one and the big ultrasound! We still aren't finding out, but we get a DVD of the whole thing. Awesome sauce!

16 weeks, 3 days along

...and I am really excited to finally start feeling prepared and ready for this baby!

On being sick and pregnant

I am sick. And pregnant.

Insert pity party here.

Seriously, I am already like the worst sick person in the world, and now I am unable to take medications to make this go away, or the symptoms go away. That may be a slight exaggeration, as you are totally able to take some medications, but these are what I call "baby" medications.

Don't give me that Sudafed PE stuff that they sell on the shelves - I want the good stuff from behind the counter. Regular strength Tylenol? I had to go out and buy it. We don't even keep that in our home. There are few bottles that don't say extra/maximum/don't take too many or you could die strength on them a la Casa Accelerated Baby.

Alas, none of the "good" drugs are available to me now, so I take this opportunity to throw myself a pity party. Partly because I had to take a sick day, which I have been trying so hard to save up for when the baby actually comes.

Partly because I had a little moment of fear on A's shoulder last night and said, "I am miserable, and I can't imagine having to do this and take care of a baby too...What were we thinking?!" Yeah, moms don't get sick days. (Hardest job in the world? check.)

Partly because every now and again when I cough, or sneeze, or blow my nose too hard I get awesome shooting round ligament pain. (That was the first link on Google y'all, I don't even know if it's a good graduate professors would be so proud.)

And partly because, mostly because, I worry that being sick while pregnant is not healthy for my baby!

I know, I know, irrational and all. But, I worry.

The late 16 week update will be coming later (since tomorrow I am 17 weeks! Woo!), along with how my midwife told me not to worry about not feeling the baby move yet, every pregnancy is different, yada yada...but still. It's there, in the back of my mind. So still, I fret.

Since I worry, I clearly will not cave and do any of the "good" drugs anyway - I will live by my Herman the Humidifier, blow my nose until it is raw, reek of Vick's vapor cream and ignore the fact that my husband guzzled all sorts of good drugs while he had whatever this is that he gave me and the bottles are still lingering on nightstands and bathroom sinks beckoning to me.

16 weeks, 6 days along

...and I am sick of being sick and feeling so pathetic.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Oh, Motherhood.

16 weeks symptom and photo update coming later. I have a midwife appointment today that I want to get some answers from first, plus the USN likes to make my husband sleep on his ship every so often, so there was no one to take my photo last night. Boo.

I came across this much posted poem the other day, and I think that i will make a print for myself for the nursery (If I can't find some cute print ready made on Etsy.)

Babies Don't Keep

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

- Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

16 weeks, 1 day along

...and I hope that I can live the spirit of this poem.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Do you know what is funny?

Boobs. Boobs are funny to many people, or have been at at least one time in your life - it's ok, admit it. And if you are one of those people, then you will love this post. Why? because it is all about boobies!

It is sort of weird and awkward to write a post for the whole world to see about your breasts (Hi Dad! Aren't you proud?), but they are a huge part of this whole pregnancy and motherhood journey that I am headed down, and I want this to be an honest account of all the experiences of said journey.

So, here we go, all about the far.

Ladies out there, have you ever noticed that your bra size has become, almost, a part of your identity? Well, mine did. Hi, my name is Courtney and I am a 34 B. Or, I was. I was totally happy and fine with my B cup lady lumps (lets see how many slang terms for breasts I can use in one posting, shall we?).

But, then, well then I got pregnant.

And, they started to ache. They were sore to the touch all.the.time. Apparently this was because they were growing and changing, all so that I can supply my baby with nutritious and delicious ovaltine breast milk, when the time comes. Fine, cool, on board, can't wait.

But, along with that growth came the realization that I would need new bras. I figured that I would not need new bras until right before and after the baby made his or her grand entrance. But, that was not the case. Many sad faces came upon me. I love my bras! I have spent years finding the perfect ones, and the cute ones, and the special occasion ones, that would do what I needed them to.

Alas, there I was, a mere 13 weeks along, and I could tell - it was time for a new bra. The VS semi-annual sale was staring me right in the face so I headed over to get some new bras to last me until...I don't know until. Hopefully until I give birth? I happily went into the fitting room with a 36 B, and a 34 C. Surely, I would only need to go up a band size or a cup size, but certainly not both!

Let me tell you that I speak the truth when I say that I left that day with two size 36 C bras.

Identity changed. Tears shed.

(Over bigger knockers, I know. But seriously, I am hormonal and emotional, so I am going to let myself off the hook on this one.)

In comparison to my old bras, these things look ginormous. I should take a photo. Of just the bras. Not me in them. That would be super awkward.

They sure are comfy though.

Overall size of my bosoms is not the only thing increasing and changing though.

How do I say this delicately? My once perfectly pink and dainty 'rosebuds' are now evolving into not-so-dainty and significantly darker full bloomed roses.

Get my drift? (I don't need to hit all your NSFW filters here on this innocent little blog)

I have been assured by other recent moms that they will go back to normal once done breastfeeding for a while, but it is Weird with a capital "W" to look at yourself in the mirror before taking a shower and go - "whose boobs are these?"

I know that there will be many more fun and exciting changes to come, especially when breastfeeding starts and all that loveliness sets in, but it is certainly amazing what a woman's body can do in such a short time. Go biology.

And with that, we will wrap up this edition of "Changes in your Cans with Courtney"

16 weeks along

...and my husband is not complaining about any of the aforementioned changes.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

I'm not funny...

Or, so my husband tells me all.the.time.

Others seem to think so - some of you, dear readers, think that I am funny and have told me so. God bless you for that. Hopefully someday my kids will think I am funny...and not just funny looking, as the saying goes. (barump-bump)

But today, though I have hundreds of funny pregnancy things to tell you all about, I am not feeling very funny.

Mainly because today I am feeling humbled and amazed by this whole experience.

I started thinking today, that I am a few days from 16 weeks. Ok, ok, I may have already read all of the pregnancy books and calendars for 16 weeks anyway, which got me thinking...

I may start to feel the baby move this week. It doesn't always happen this early for first time moms, and sometimes you don't feel the baby move until closer to 20 weeks. All totally normal.

But still.

A baby moving? and being able to feel it? That is just so crazy to me. And wonderful. I am sort of in awe of my body and nature and this whole journey today.

I have seen the baby move and kick and jump on the ultrasound at 12 weeks. In fact, it took forever to get that little profile photo because every time they went to take a still photo Baby G would spring off the side of my uterus like a trampoline...and then I would laugh...which would jiggle the ultrasound wand...but I digress.

Seeing the baby move was crazy enough, hearing the heartbeat? also crazy and amazing.

But, feeling the baby move? That, friends, is a moment that I have been waiting and hoping and wishing for ever since those two lines turned pink.

15 weeks, 5 days along

...and just as soon as I feel that baby move, you'd best believe it will be up here with an inordinate amount of exclamation marks.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Team Green

No, not as in we are going green (though we try and do that too...and we are going to cloth diaper! Woot! more posts to come on that later)...but, as in Team Green, as referred to on all the baby boards, etc in reference to those not finding out the sex of their baby until birth.


No joke - we are NOT finding out whether we will have a wee little lady or lad until the day that she or he arrives.

The reactions to this news has been....mixed. A and I always said that we didn't want to find out, even before we were seriously talking about having kiddos. We just think it is so fun this way. Most people thought that we would feel differently when we actually got pregnant - but, we don't.

Our parents and tons of older people are completely supportive of us waiting. They all did, and loved it. That, of course, does not include our doctors, midwives and nurses - who are totally supportive, but also shake their heads and say "We will see..."

Some people in our generation think it is fun, and others...well others have said, "How am I going to know what to buy it?"

We get it, this is not the choice made by most couples today. And believe me when I say that I have already designated myself as the weak one. I had a dream the other night about sneaking downstairs after A was asleep to watch our 20 week ultrasound DVD to see if I could tell for myself whether it was a boy or a girl. Ut oh. Me = weak one. Hubs= strong one.

The not finding out sort of grates on my Type A, 'Control Freak Courtney' side, but totally appeals to my "Why not? this will be" side. So, we go with that one. Let's be honest, it also appeals to my, let's-design-and-buy-things-for-a-beautiful-neutral-nursery-that-will-last-for-more-than-one-kiddo side.

We are not planning on sticking to greens and yellows in pre-buying for Baby G either. There are so many awesome things out there now (thanks Etsy!) that have bright colors in red and sky blues, in all sorts of an array of items.

Now, some will argue the whole side of beginning to identify with your baby sooner, being able to call them by name while still in utero, etc. And while I do believe that that is true for some people, and totally respect that opinion, I just don't think I would be able to keep from prescribing a personality for my baby before I actually meet my baby. My imagination runs crazy (why I don't watch horror movies), and I can't really keep it from doing so.

And then there is that whole I-learned-a-lot-about-identity-development-in-grad-school-aren't-I-sounding-pretentious-now-but-I-don't-want-the-sex-and-assumed-gender-of-my-baby-to-be-the-first-thing-I-identify-them-with thing. That point of view is a little too new age for my husband - he just thinks it will be fun to have that moment at delivery. ::shrug::

So there it is. We are Team Green for different reasons and proud of it.

15 weeks, 4 days along

...and I am so excited about all of the posts, comments, Facebook messages, and emails that I have been getting from old friends who are now reading this blog! Y'all make my day. Seriously.

Friday, January 7, 2011

15 weeks

15 weeks and husband is really settling into his role as paparazzi. Now if we could only get some better lighting in our house, or if either of us could get home before dark...then we can get rid of those pesky shadows. Also, I think I am going to go back and add the text to all my photos...I kinda like it. go the updates:

Gone. Knock on wood. Seriously. Please, please, please don't come back! I really like being able to brush my teeth again.

Clearing up, but I wouldn't say glowing.

Ha! Well, I have definitely popped, though I am still able to wear some normal things. The shirt in this photo, for example was on the non-preggo racks at Target a few weeks ago so I snatched it up. Length? check. Not too preggo looking? check. Defined area under the girls? check. Hopefully some of the things I pick up like this will be able to be flattering post-partum.

I haven't weighed myself, but I will get weighed at the appointment next week. I have noticed some gain in areas other than my belly - mainly in the chest area (ahem, see below), a little bit on my hips where I used to feel bone (I now feel a teensy bit of squish), and I feel like my arms, but A thinks I am crazy. 

I need to start looking for tighter shirts than what I am currently wearing in these weekly photos (rather than whatever I happen to have on) so I have a true representation (that shirt is all bunch in the back - end whine)...add to mental list.

No cravings other than for food. Seriously, now that the nausea is gone I want to eat everything in sight! In my head I am not hungry, because my normal eating patterns are well established, but all of a sudden my stomach will be growling. Very strange. I had breakfast and what I had intended to be my morning and afternoon snacks (a clementine and a fiber one bar if you must know) all before 10 am yesterday. I mean, this is weird, yo. 

P.S. I am trying to not actually eat everything in sight, but also trying not to deny needs of my body. Balancing act in full swing.

I am still getting a few pains every now and again (round ligament) but I think most everything has stretched to where it needs to be for the time being, so they have laid off a bit. Yay! No more swift make you sit up in the middle of the night pains just because you coughed. Success.

Mental State
Pregnancy brain is in full effect. I did not really believe this was a real symptom until I got pregnant. I will be totally honest and say that I thought all my preggo friends were totally making up lame excuses with this one, but amazingly - it's true. I hope it goes away soon. This week alone I have:

  • walked out the door without my packed lunch three times
  • forgotten to bring in things for the office that I intentionally left by the front door so as not to forget them
  • ended up at a store with no idea what I needed from said store - it is really awesome when the helpful employees come up to you and ask "Can I help you find something?" and your response is, "Not just yet, I have absolutely no idea why I am here at the current moment"

Completely new stuff:

My hair doesn't seem thicker to me yet, but it is definitely dryer, which means it doesn't get greasy nearly as fast. That is awesome. 

It is amazing. It does not matter what I eat. Technically, as I understand it, this is due to all the relaxin and progesterone in your body that relaxes other things for a healthy pregnancy...but also relaxes the valve keeping stuff down in your stomach from your esophagus - which leads to heartburn. Awesome. The girl with the cast iron stomach continues to learn about new and exciting sensations.

Nasal Issues
I am starting to experience more stuffy nose/slight bloody nose issues from dried out sinus cavities. Yay! A and I puled out our humidifier (his name is Herman, and I bought him in college - you can find him here) last night so hopefully that will help things. 

The Girls
The girls have gotten bigger. I had to buy new bras. Husband is excited, and I am sort of off kilter about it. A whole post is coming on this new adventure.

So, that's where we stand at 15 weeks. We took this photo last night, and as I mentioned, A is really getting into being paparazzi, in fact, he started being hilarious last night and shouting out directions and snapping pictures so fast that he also managed to get these:

15 weeks, 1 day along

...and sometimes I find my husband hilarious.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

On being "active" during pregnancy...

So, all the books and websites and friends and doctors and everyone who has not even conceived a baby (but had a friend who had one once) say that having an "active" pregnancy and remaining "active" during pregnancy makes life/labor/recovery so much easier and all golden flowers in a field of loveliness.

To them I say, "Blah."

Don't get me wrong, I know that it will make everything that much easier. But, the fatigue of first trimester has not quite yet abated my system. After two and a half months of wanting nothing more than to come home and lay down on the couch (ignoring the chosen dinner of my cohabitors whilst trying not to puke) and then rouse enough energy to climb the stairs to go to bed...this whole new "active" thing hasn't quite kicked in yet either.

My mind is certainly active. I have running to-do lists of a bajillion things going through my mind - nursery schemes (not themes, important to distinguish), all the things I want to get rid of, things we need to buy, calculating cloth diapers (how many do we need????), grown up stuff to take care of (insurance, etc). Aaaand, the list goes on. so, yeah, my mind is active.

But the universe seems to be working against me for physical activity.

a. I cannot find a prenatal yoga class in all of Hampton Roads that starts after 5 pm. 
Hello local yogis! Some of us mommas-to-be are working mommas-to-be. And, as nice as my bosses are about me leaving to go to doctors appointments every month, and then every week as we get close to the end...I don't think they will be cool with me jetting out a half hour early every Monday to make it to my yoga class. Damn.

b. It is cold outside.
I don't like the cold. I don't like being outside in the cold. And it keeps snowing and being icy. Gross. I already don't have the best luck walking out neighborhood while knocked up. The last time, I fell. Nothing freaks a pregnant woman out more than falling, at least not me. Plus, I feel guilty going for a walk without the dog. The poor thing lives for walks. Le sigh. This one just sounds whiny. But true.

c. A and I are both working late
I am not the type of person to go to the gym alone (and the gym is where it is warm). I need a gym buddy. I need the accountability, which is why a class would be ideal...but see reason a. above. Historically, my best gym buddy is my husband. We work out in completely different ways and he runs himself ragged, so we aren't trying to have conversations while gasping for breath on the elliptical.

Going to the gym in the morning is a no go for me too. I am not a morning person, and I already can't have my coffee in the morning, so hitting the gym is not on my priority list. I am trying to bank some sleep while I can fools.

All this is to say, "these are my excuses for being a bump on a log." They aren't going to last very long, I promise. Don't worry, I am no longer lounging on my couch all night - instead I am hustling A through cleaning, organizing and preparing the house (he loves it). I am starting to get that itch. I want to be active and need to be active, so I will get there soon.

But, in the meantime...

if you managed to stay incredibly active throughout your pregnancy, and hit up the gym at 5 every morning and all of that...just don't talk to me for a few weeks, k?

15 weeks along

...and I can't wait for spring to come so that I can enjoy being outside again (so long as I am one of the 1/3 of pregnant women whose seasonal allergies go away while with child).

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Telling Work

I woke up on Monday with the anticipation of the first day of school. I was a nervous wreck, but also excited, and at the same time dreading the end of my glorious two weeks free from the office doldrum.

You see, Monday was the day that I was finally going to tell my boss - and everyone else at work - about Baby G.

I am lucky enough to work in an environment that values family, though individual support varies from person to person. Two close friends at work did already know, but have of course kept their lips sealed.

One of these friends, my officemate, is also pregnant and about 4 weeks exactly behind me. So, we made the decision to go in and tell our boss together. Is that the most professional way to go about telling your boss? Maybe not, but we figured we both had to do it, so why not.

Luckily, everyone received the news well! As anticipated some bosses were more enthusiastic than others, and more congratulatory, but all in all it was a HUGE sigh of relief.

I have no idea what I am going to do about work when the baby comes...will I go back, won't I? Who knows. We will figure that out when the time comes and I will see where my heart leads me. I am not so naive as to think that my life won't change in 100,000 unanticipated ways once this little baby has been born into the world. For now, I have crossed the next step and done what needed to be done.

In other news, the husband (who will hence be referred to as A, due to the request of a certain best friend - you know who you are) told work weeks ago, because he had to for planning purposes. Everyone there is thrilled and all high fives and such.

14 weeks, 6 days along

...and last night I brushed my teeth WITHOUT gagging = WIN.