Tuesday, June 21, 2011

On "being done"

First, can I just say HOW EXCITED I AM to have so few links left on my office paper chain till my due date. ACK!

It started here...

Last week it was here, with all my stuff still on my shelves...(my office mate is better prepared than I to leave and her due date is all the way at the end there - mine is that green link right in the middle!)

and now we are here!  Yay!

Ok, now on to the real post.

Inevitably throughout the course of being visibly pregnant, everyone and their mom wants to make some sort of comment because they feel the ice is all broken because they know something about you and your life choices. Without even having to ask! The joy! The excitement! The knowing glances that they can give you as they relate the story of their best friend's mom's cousin's daughter! It's all too much for them to keep in.

Plus, everybody loves babies.

I have done fairly well at managing the small annoyances at comments, suggestions, unwarranted belly rubs from strangers, all of that. (Much better than I thought I would anyway.) How? Why? Because I have just been so dag gone happy about being pregnant. Sure there have been the annoying aches and pains, small lamentations about the wine I have not gotten to drink, sushi that will forever remain uneaten, all of that. But, it's all totally worth it, and I really have to say I feel so.blessed. to have had such a happy and complication free pregnancy. ::sofarcoughcough::

BUT, I have decided that there is officially something that annoys me to no other now that I have hit the "close to due date status". That is people deciding for me that I should be "done" with pregnancy.

Um, say what?

In the last few days to a week, I have had acquaintances and coworkers and even people that I don't know, give me that sad face look and say, "You look like you are ready to be done with this whole thing."

That is the equivalent of saying to a non-pregnant woman, "Are you feeling ok?" or "You look so tired!"

Why, thank you very much, I am glad you are confirming that I look like shizz today.

(Please note: these phrases are not appreciated. Ever. If I really do look like death, take me to the hospital and continue to reassure me that my fever gives me a really pretty flush on my cheeks.)

The thing is...I'm not "over" being pregnant. I am not miserable (big yet here folks...I know I could get there soon). Thankfully, all is well in baby and I's world, so I am not really worried about hurrying things along.

Sure there are things that I am ready to have back to normal - puffy ankles can go away so my feet can look cute again...heartburn can go away so that I don't occasionally wake up wanting to vomit all over the place on my own acid reflux...stuff like that. But, none of that stuff is so bad that I am ready to shout "get this thing out of me!"

It probably helps that I totally recognize that my body will not be my own again for quite some time anyway, both image wise and usage wise (hello breastfeeding), so I don't really feel an urgency to not be pregnant anymore. 

What I am, at this point, is excited as all get out to meet my baby! I am thrilled to the bone when I think about finally laying eyes on him or her and getting to snuggle and learn all the little crooks and crevices of that tiny little body. And baby smell. Yum. Baby smell and puppy smell are two things I love.

I am even excited about the challenge of birth that lies before me. Color me crazy but I can't wait to be on the other side and be all birth goddessy and all "I totally just brought a HUMAN BEING into this world. I am clearly a rock star."

So no, I am not ready to be "done". But I am getting ready to have my life change forever in a thousand different ways, and really that's just another step. I will not be done with this journey for a long time yet, if ever.

38 weeks, 5 days pregnant

...and we have had a few little contractions today, just for practice. Yay for progress!

1 comment:

  1. You could have slapped my name on the "author" line of this post. I never felt ready to "be done". In fact that only time I remember saying I was ready to "be done" with pregnancy was literally when I was in the pushing stage of birth and I asked my midwife "if I could just be done now". I loved pregnancy! I was of course excited to meet my baby but the next day I was already looking at pregnant ladies and thinking *sigh* I miss that!! The comments from people projecting their own opinions on to you that you should want to be done now must be worse for you because you carry so far forward and out there in the world, and you started showing early. I really enjoyed telling people with a smile on my face and NOT a waddle in my step that I was due in 5 days etc and watching their eyes bug out because I wasn't bitching like crazy about how much I hated pregnancy.

    Also I too was totally excited about giving birth and had no fear looking forward to it. And then it happened, and it was awesome. Within 24 hours from pushing my baby into the world completely intervention and medication free I was saying that it had been awesome. INTENSE yes, but awesome.

    Going to sleep now but YAY you for feeling great and not conforming to the idea that you should be wishing away the final joyous moments of pregnancy!