Friday, March 22, 2013

The Birth of William Brawford: Part Five

Get caught up:


Jennifer looked down and remarked that my water was clear, which was great, and I immediately knew from how I had been pushing and how exhausted my legs were that I wasn’t going to be able to hold my same position in the tub for much longer, so I requested heading for the bed. Unknowingly, I had been clenching my thigh muscles really tightly - my quads ached for two days after birth because I had pushed so much energy into them. 

As I climbed out of the tub and headed for the bed my water continued to gush, and towards the end of it we saw signs of meconium. I had a momentary blip of anxiety when Jennifer mentioned that it was well diluted and that the baby had great coping signs with labor up until this point, but that they would still need to page a pediatrician to be present for delivery.

Since she was so calm about this new development, I was able to regain my calm and remain focused too. Thankfully, when you are at that point in labor everything else seems really unimportant also because you are just so in tune with the task before you.

I laid down, rolled over into the same position that I had used to push for Evelyn, grabbed my husbands hand and got ready to go. The pressure, though it had abated for a moment of sweet relief when my water broke, was back with a vengeance.

“Oh, right, THIS is what having a baby feels like,” I remember thinking to myself. “Did I really do this before, or was it just a dream? How did I do this before and look back on it with happiness and excitement? Holy shit this is intense. I can't believe we are already pushing! This is so surreal - we just got here! I didn't think I would meet this baby so quickly!”

Then, as the first contraction hit, I roared out loud and bore down.

Inwardly, I thought in a rush, “You have done this before, and you are going to do this again right now! Get this done, Courtney!”

After that first push, Jennifer exclaimed that what a great job I had done already, but gently reminded me that all of that energy I was letting go through my mouth was a waste – I should push that roar down where it counts.

As I felt that amazing pressure that I honestly think you only truly understand in that very moment – I remember clearly thinking that no memory will ever quite do it justice – I pushed for all my might.

And then I kept pushing, after the contraction was gone, just trying to get that baby out! I hovered in between pain, determination, exhaustion and excitement. Jennifer reminded me that if the contraction was over, I could stop pushing.

Oh, right.

Again, I groaned and let go of my leg. This time Jennifer was not so gentle in her reminder that I was the one delivering this baby, no one else, so keep holding that leg up and stop letting that energy escape through my mouth!

That slightly stern moment was exactly what I needed. With the next contraction I held it together, pushed all of that power down – and that was it! I felt the baby slide out onto the bed.

One minute shy of an hour and a half after arriving at the hospital, at 3:34 pm, after three pushes in a total of nine minutes, and William Brawford made his glorious entrance into the world, one whole day shy of his estimated due date.

His Daddy looked down and tearfully announced that he was a boy!

Jennifer cut the cord and he was quickly whisked over to the pediatrician. She informed us of what was happening, and reassured us that from the immediate pinkness she had seen and that first strong wail, he seemed to be just fine.

I felt amazing, and was once again crying and laughing in the mixture of sweet relief and joy that is the post birth high. A and I varied between staring at each other, laughing and wiping tears away and and glancing anxiously over at the warmer.

I knew in my bones that he was perfect before the pediatrician even finished his exam, but I sent his Daddy over to check things out, assuring him that I was just fine. The doctor looked over at us and said he was just wonderful and wished us congratulations.

…and yet, my arms were strangely empty. Yet again, that silly ceremonial birth certificate – with no legal bearing, mind you – was standing in my way!

The pediatric nurse was printing Liam’s feet onto that paper before bringing him over to me.

People! You KNOW that thing is just a piece of paper, right?! Ack! I sensed annoyance creeping up over me again. Not only was this totally different from Evelyn being able to come right up to my chest, but now they were worried about making footprints?! Give me my baby you crazy people! I am about to go full on Mama Bear on you!

Thankfully, Jennifer sensed the ridiculousness of the moment and spoke up before I did, and I was quickly able to introduce myself to my brand new son.

And, it was like we had never been separated at all.

Evelyn Rae is 20 months, Liam is a day shy of 6 weeks old

...and it looks like this story is going to have an epilogue, just like his sister's.  More birthday photos to come next week!


  1. Yay! How ridiculous that they took him. He was obviously fine if he was pink and hollering! ;)

    Go mama!

  2. This is Megan not Mike BTW. Silly google.

  3. Well, well done getting this all documented so thoroughly!! I loved reading every part! You da woman! So glad everything went well! What awesome parents you two are!